I asked and asked and asked until I got it, and then it was
Too big too small, too this too that, not right, until I realized I knew not what I asked and asked no more.
I wanted and wanted and wanted and wanted until I changed my mind and wanted and wanted and wanted, until I got the hell of what I wanted until I wanted no more. When I realized that I didn’t know what I wanted and threw up my hands.
The miracles that happen when you surrender to God are so extraordinary in their ordinariness. It seems like He comes like He came to Moses in a burning bush. It seems like He makes a serpent of your staff when He told Moses to cast it down. A staff again when He tells you to pick it up by its tail. It’s like He makes your hand leprous when He told Moses to put it in his bosom, and then non leprous when you take it out. It seems like He will perform and show you nothing short of a miracle if you just know how to see one and look for it. If you stopped being afraid, like Moses, who found all these excuses not to believe God despite God sitting in his face and saying, here I AM; this is my name to tell the elders when you come on behalf of me to lead the Hebrews away, and these miracles I will let you do through me if they don’t believe you.
That despite the burning bush, serpent rod and leprous hand, Moses still could not even believe it. That I wanted and asked and asked and wanted until I asked and wanted only for Him and His peace and love. Thassit. And then I could see. The miracle.